The intersection of Authenticity, Neurodivergence and Professionalism

Cross posted from Bloom & Rise Newsletter on LinkedIn

My hope and intention with this newsletter are to authentically share experiences, mine and others.  It’s also important for me to push myself past my safety net, and name things that I haven’t historically felt comfortable sharing.  I do this, not to overshare, but rather to create a real community. I wish to connect women, and all, who are interested in exploring some of the same ideas.

To share in this way is a very vulnerable place and frankly scares the hell out of me. I have not often felt like I was in a truly safe space to share openly.  Most of the time my sharing has led to consequence that proved to me I shouldn’t open my mouth, but instead keep a completely superficial construct in place as part of my ‘professionalism” persona.  It’s frankly exhausting, especially with someone who has anxiety, low impulse control and tends to over-think.

One thing I’ve struggled with for a long time is balancing the sincere desire to be a ‘professional’ (my definition may also be flawed – but that’s another topic) be truly authentic in my words and actions, and while doing so, letting my neurodiversity be part of the conversation. Or in other words, be a whole human at work and in life.

This proved to be a constant struggle in my early career, and likely a big contributor to the anxiety. I was constantly thinking and over-thinking interactions with my colleagues. Additionally, I had no idea I had ADHD at that time – nor for a long time after, not being diagnosed until I was 40. More precisely, I knew something was different about me, I struggled to conform, fit in, and I often noticed things others didn’t, but I had more of less made my peace about being a “outside of convention”. I was still really bothered by my perception of the inability to ‘fit in’. I’d occasionally miss certain cues or when I would try to connect with others sometimes it wouldn’t land, i.e. oversharing.

Part of aging and becoming more ‘yourself’ is to find the people that get you, and I was lucky to have many of them in my network – one of my biggest supporters was my father who was my business partner for 13 years. However, he and I were often so aligned that if I had a blind spot, it was probable that he had a similar, if not the same one. I didn’t make serious headway on learning vocabulary that helped me to classify and understand the way my cognition worked until much later.

I’ve also realized that I’m happiest when I’m not trying to force myself into a ‘conventional’ role. This seems obvious in retrospect, but for much of my professional life, I’ve tried hard to meet other people’s expectations of how they define success or follow the ‘right’ path others encouraged me to take.

I also am aware that I look younger than I am. I understand hierarchy but don’t adhere to it in most situations, which can read as too informal or even unprofessional to some. I will say I believe it served me very well in my role as a consultant. For a long time that really impacted my perception of myself as a professional, but age is an incredible teacher. At some point in my career, I realized that my expertise and gifts are much more potent when I’m not trying to stuff them into a container that they aren’t made for. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m not for everyone, and that in fact, it’s better to allow people to opt out. It saves everyone time in the long run. I say that with no ill will or judgement, just a clear understanding of who I am and a confidence in that.

Navigating the intersection of authenticity, neurodivergence, and professionalism has been a deeply personal and ongoing journey for me. It’s been about more than just finding my place in the professional world; it’s been about embracing my whole self—anxieties, quirks, and all—and learning to see those differences not as obstacles but as strengths. I am always learning, and refining. Sometimes I am more in balance than other times, but I find the less I struggle and worry about others, the more centered, focused and happy I am.

I’m not perfect, nor do I have all (or even most of) the answers, but I do know that the more I lean into who I truly am, the more fulfilled and effective I become—in my work and in my life. I hope that by sharing my experiences, I can encourage others to do the same, to find the strength to be unapologetically themselves, and to redefine what it means to be 'professional' in a way that honors our true selves.

We’re all on this journey together, learning and growing as we go. Vulnerability is scary, but it’s also the gateway to genuine connection. Let’s continue to push past our comfort zones, connect authentically, and embrace the unique qualities that make us who we are.