Growing up surrounded by talented writers and authors - many of whom had been published multiple times, with literary agents to their names - I couldn't help but feel a sense of awe and admiration for their craft.
For as far back as I can remember, I yearned to write a book, but a daunting sense of inadequacy held me back. I convinced myself that I didn't possess that innate compulsion to pour out a cohesive story onto paper. I believed (and still do) that if I didn't have a grand, epic tale within me, I couldn't possibly write a book. I let this belief live in me without truly examining it, and I concluded that I had nothing valuable to offer, so I shouldn't even attempt to publish.
Another aspect of my insecurity was the lack of focus in my writing. Without a clear theme or direction, I often found myself jotting down whatever thoughts happened to pop into my head at any given moment. I feared that most of what I wrote was uninteresting to anyone else, and this belief weighed heavily on my confidence.
But then, something remarkable happened. I began to realize that the essence of writing isn't solely confined to the realm of books. It isn't just about epic tales or perfectly structured narratives. Writing is a means of expression, a journey of self-discovery, and a form of communication that transcends the boundaries of conventional storytelling. I mean, as much as this is obvious – and I even applied it to other forms of self-expression – this was an “Aha” moment for me.
In this past month I’ve started to embrace the idea that I, too, have a unique voice, one that many of you seem to resonate with. It was a voice that didn't always conform to the traditional standards of writing but had its own authenticity. I understood that my writing didn't need to be confined to a grand novel; it could be essays, blog posts, journal entries, or even snippets of thoughts shared on social media.
As I’ve begun to explore this newfound perspective, I’m discovering the beauty of vulnerability in writing. I understand that my imperfections, my unfiltered thoughts, and my raw emotions are the very elements that made my writing relatable and authentic. It was in this vulnerability that I found my voice, one that resonated with others who, like me, were grappling with self-doubt insecurities, long COVID and just regular life stuff.
I’m learning that writing is a journey, a process of iteration and self-awareness, and for me the drive to continue to learn and improve. It's also about embracing the uncertainty, the imperfections, and the moments of clarity. I’m finally finding the courage to share my thoughts, even when they feel unpolished or incomplete.
Today, I am beginning my writing journey, with only a month for consistent effort here. I’m excited and empowered by the knowledge that I have a voice worth sharing. I've come to understand that writing is not about conforming to others' expectations but about staying true to myself. It's about writing from the heart, even when it feels vulnerable and uncertain.
As I embark on this winding journey through writing, I deeply appreciate all of you who have subscribed, invested money, encouraged and supported me.
Here are some things I‘ve learned after a month on this platform.
Being a “writer” is less about the image I had of authors, and more about just writing.
Writing about my weird, winding and neurodiverse life appears to be appealing for many of you. Huh, I had no idea - but trust me there is plenty more where that came from.
Reading and subscribing to other Substacks is really inspiring. The community is supportive, kind and funny. That is rare online, and I truly value the interactions and burgeoning friendships I've begun.
Putting energy into my dream of supporting myself at least in part with writing has opened that door. So many of you have contributed, shared my work and send me words of encouragement. A good reminder that self limiting beliefs are exactly that, and it’s ok - no, necessary and good - to ask for what you want, and to share your hopes and aspirations. I’ve asked for your support and so many of you have shown up.
Writing in the evening (usually the time I have) usually results in me missing a few grammatical/spelling errors. My editor is an early riser - so sometimes the version you read at 8 am is much improved by 10 am.
That’s what I have so far, I look forward to month two and beyond. Thank you again for being here.
xo Dania
Here are some others who I’d encourage you to read.
writes beautifully about loss, grief and being kind to yourself. by Personal histories, self fulfillment and my favorite in her description, radical self-sharer.
Wonderful, inspiring essay!!!