Creativity is Hard

But Not For the Reasons You Might Think

I am a photographer, even when I haven’t taken pictures for a month. I’m a photographer even when I take thousands of crappy snapshots on my iPhone, instead of utilizing the several cameras that live in my house. I constantly see ways to shoot a scene, a person, or set up a shot. Most of the time I get this creative energy out on my food, dinner scenes or the dog - sometimes even the kids, but I often have to sneak those. Yes, this is very hipster millennial of me. I know. I’ve made my peace with it.

I am a painter, who hasn’t had the motivation to actually paint in over two months. I have had a fair amount of ideas, or inspiration, but no physical ability to pick up a brush. Watercolor is typically my favorite medium (more here) but recently I’ve begun experimenting with oil painting as well. I have several pieces in process that are staring at me even as I type this.

I am a knitter, especially in the colder months of the year. It’s a relaxing, low stress activity that help me feel a bit more grounded, and I’m always more present when my hands are busy, again, classic ADHD. However, don’t ask me how many projects I have in process. It’s a number higher than I have fingers.

I’m a writer. Or at least I’m working to develop and invest in that skill, and this Substack. (If I keep saying I’m a writer, I’ll manifest it right? That’s how this works?)

This brings me to the hard bit. Recently, I’ve needed put all these other things on hold, because I can’t do them all simultaneously. My brain is healing and on most days is working at close to normal capacity, but even still, it’s just not possible to do all things all the time. As much creativity as I’ve recently had bubble up in me, I’m also really working to re-focus myself on a job search, family and getting out of my house. I have more ideas then time, and I find that to be endlessly frustrating.

I’m also digging out of a post-COVID home. I’ve accumulated things for entertaining the children and myself, home schooling a elementary child and a high schooler, who are now much past those years. I’m reconfiguring my home, and then again to create space for art-making, interviewing, writing, relaxing.

As I embark on this journey of resetting priorities, continued self-discovery and reconfiguring my time, I'm reminded that even in the moments when some creative pursuits are on hold, they're never truly abandoned. They're patiently waiting in the wings, ready to take up space in my life again. So, I'll embrace this season of recalibration, knowing that my artistic spirit remains alive and well, waiting for the perfect moment to flourish once more.

Things I’m thinking about today: My puppy is 10 months old now. She’s still ridiculous but is beginning to settle a bit. Which I appreciate. She’s a big fan of Bully Sticks, which are aptly named. I’m gonna let you google it.

General Nonsense: The new season of Love is Blind has begun, and I’m IN!

Recommendations:

Jenny Lawson (thebloggess)

I’ve been a fan for a long time, but then wander and miss out on what she’s been doing recently. I’m thrilled to have found Jenny on Substack. Also, I once read a chapter of “Lets Pretend This Never Happened” (Chapter 14 titled ‘A Series of Helpful Post-it Notes I Left Around the House for My Husband This Week’) on an airplane on the way to Miami for a girls book club. (See! On brand) and we were laughing so hard, I think the flight crew thought we were inebriated. #worthit Whenever I’m low key annoyed at my husband I’ll yell “The Fuck, Victor” his name isn’t Victor, but if you read the book it will make more sense.

As always your kind words and compliments keep me going. Thank you.